Meltdowns

Ahh! I know a lot of this is normal two year old behavior...I also know that it is exasperated by her Autism. Anyways, this morning her Aunt Penny, Grammy and I went to this Halloween store, which had no carts and I did not bring the stroller. So I am holding her and of course she wants down, she wanted her Aunt to hold her but Penny has a broken foot and on crutches so that wasn't working out well. Sooo I am struggling to hold on to her and she slips out of my arms and melts to the floor. Seriously, she let everything just go limp and to my dismay started making snow angels right in the middle of the aisle..then scootching on her back down the aisle. I would pick her up she would scream and just go LIMP. She didn't want to walk, she just wanted to lay on the floor. UGH! I am the mom who is all about behaving in public, HUGE on manners, and really I don't take this kinda stuff well. Everyone was staring at the two year old using her back to sweep up all the dirt in the aisle while her mother frantically tries to make her stop. Then she wants to run....... run run run. PLEASE Ava, I BEGGED and pleaded with her. I finally get her in my arms and I am NOT letting go ...she kicked and screamed and she WON..how can a two year old WIN? thank goodness for the squishy ugly frog that caught her attention..aunt penny bought it for her and off we went...to wal-mart. Where are carts that her little butt was strapped into.
These meltdowns are coming more and more often.
This evening I was on the phone with a friend ( hi tammy) and Ava just starts screaming at the top of her lungs, poor Tammys ear. Just one scream after another.
And they wonder why the 5 min trip to the grocery store is like a vacation to me!

A website and random banter

First I wanted to post this helpful link to follow if you suspect your child may be on the Autism Spectrum. http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html
It REALLY is helpful and more comfortable to do in your own home to see if your concerns may be valid. I have been doing this test with Ava every few months to see her improvements. She actually has gotten a worse score now that she IS talking more, but I honestly think it would of been off the charts if she was the same child 6 months ago and starting to talk. She scores at the end of moderate PDD-NOS.

I was so happy that Ava has had a couple great therapy sessions this week..far cry from last week when she behaved so badly and was acting as if she was rebelling agaist them...poor miss K took the brunt of it . This week was much better, Less talking through her nose..more opening of her mouth . Yay! I still long for the day when she just burts out some big huge sentence...or even something much more simplier..Like "I love you, Mommy"....or even Love you mommy....love mommy....or if she would just point to her eyes, her heart, then to me like ive been tying to teach her for months. I KNOW she loves me, but it would be nice to hear. And if not ever, thank goodness parents have that instinct and just KNOW their children love them just by the look in their eyes, their touch, their smiles, and how their eyes light up, and the awesome kisses i get in the morning.

People tend to think of Autism as ONE set standard..it is a spectrum, a huge one at that. I think thats one of the most important thing to realize. it is HUGE..form a child rocking in the corner and non verbal, totally disconnected from the world..to a mildly affected child with a minor speech delay and some quirks. I am not sure where Ava falls, she is NOT severe and I thank my lucky stars that she is able to somewhat get her point across to me, and tries really hard to be a part of this crazy world we live in.

Just say no to flu-shots

It's flu shot season! Many brands of the flu shot still contain in excess of the EPA's allowable mercury exposure for a 500-lb. individual. Mercury is the second most neurotoxic substance on the planet. Exposure can lead to irreversible developmental and/or neurological damage. Mercury has NOT been removed from all brands of flu, Rhogam, diptheria or tetanus vaccines. If you are contemplating a flu shot this season, please print this chart and take it to your doctor.http://www.vaccinesafety.edu/thi-table.htmRequest a mercury-free flu shot... they are available!!If your doctor insists that it's safe to be injected with between 4 (large adults) - 20(small children) times the EPA's allowable amount of mercury in the form of thimerosal, a toxic preservative that has been banned for years from paint and other medical products due to its severe neurological, autoimmune and gastrointestinal effects, I would respectfully suggest finding a new doctor.

Have a safe and autism-free autumn!

Ava has autism

Even though it has been since may that she got the diagnoses, even though I knew in my mommy gut WAY before then...there are still days where it just HITS me all over again. Seems like I am on overload worrying about her development, in her face all the time, doing the therapies, stressing over her not eating and talking...that when all is calm for 5 minutes I start to really thinking. I get that horrible sick feeling that brings me back to the day she was actually diagnosed. Where I felt like I wasn't even in my body anymore.
I know that Ava is progressing and doing better, I am so proud of her. I do think I let it cloud my judgement because when I am around other children, her peers, I can see the big difference.
We went to my sisters house this past weekend, and her cousin is 7 months older than her. She did a lot better with them than before..she would just scream until we took her home. This time she was very interested in their toys. Just not them. She ignores them , acts like they aren't even there. And if i would ask her to hand them something she would totally look away and hand it to them..make every effort not to look at them. Breaks my heart.

But I have to keep on pushing on. I love her with every ounce of my heart. I have bene reading the postive stories, stories of recovery and that is what I am going to focus on.

Also , if anyone has any idea where to buy Autism Lapels in bulk for cheap, please let me know.

I will leave you with some fun park pictures!